We all have a default mode of operation.
It’s how we operate in the moments when nothing is expected of us. When we are alone, on vacation, on a Saturday night or a Sunday afternoon. These are times when the demands have slowed to the point at which we may consider it to be “down time.”
What is your default in those times? Think about what you did the last time you could actually relax… are you proud of what you did? Was is a good decision? Do you have any regrets?
Our “default” is a reflection of our inner being. What flows out of us when we are in our most still and quiet moments is the truest representation of what we store up in our hearts.
I have to admit, I am not often proud of what I do during these downtimes. Not because I’m doing anything wrong. Rather, because I don’t often allow myself to truly rest and be still. My default is not healthy. It is a reflection of my restless spirit.
The solution is to re-evaluate what is important to me, and what I believe makes me valuable. This is exactly what I’ve been doing lately. I’ve been reading a relatively unknown author by the name of Terry Hershey. Here is a passage from one of his books:
As long as I’m bent on fixing, repairing, and renovating in order to make myself more presentable or lovable or acceptable, I am postponing the ability to receive any gifts (from you or from God) in the moment I have right now.The Power of Pause, Terry Hershey
Our default is often wrapped up in something external because we have a hard time with just being present in the current moment. Entertainment helps us escape boredom. Projects help us gain a superficial sense of self-worth. In either case, there is an internal struggle with just accepting the moment and allowing ourselves to be present.
It is a practice I am learning to love. Short moments, just 5 or 10 minutes, help me realize that my value does not come from doing, but from being. God made me, and that is enough.