Note: the following is the manuscript for the message and will not match exactly the recorded message above.
“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. “This, then, is how you should pray:
“ ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.’”
Matthew 6:5-13, NIV
Introduction
Prayer, in its simplest definition, can be understood as deep communication between the human spirit and a personal God.
In the Bible, we are given many examples of this sort of communication between people and God. The book of Psalms is considered to be the prayer book of the Bible. When we read the Psalms, we learn to pray.
In his book on the Psalms called Answering God, Eugene Peterson defines prayer as a response to God, who has already spoken.
He emphasizes that prayer is not initiating communication with God but participating in a conversation that God has already begun through Scripture, creation, and revelation.
Prayer is relational; it is an act of listening and responding rather than merely speaking or requesting. Prayer is the lifeblood of our relationship with God. Therefore, it is not an optional activity for followers of Jesus.
Jesus said in Matthew 6:5, “When you pray…” He did not say, if you pray. Prayer is assumed in Scripture. The Bible instructs Christians to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
Despite this, many Christians struggle with prayer. Some don’t know why it matters, while others aren’t sure how to do it effectively.
So, this morning we will look at those two questions. Why should I pray and how should I pray.
Why Should I Pray?
1. Prayer is an Invitation into Relationship with God
Prayer is not just a ritual; it’s a relational practice.
Jesus calls us to pray to “Our Father”, showing that prayer is about intimacy with God.
His instruction to go into your room and pray to your Father who is unseen is not instruction to always pray in secret. It is not meant to be a literal or legalistic formula.
It is to ensure your prayers are directed toward God and not to impress people. It is for the purpose of relationship with God rather than to be seen by others as righteous.
Jesus points out that the hypocrites do not actually love the prayer itself. Rather, they love only themselves and the opportunity to be seen in a certain way by other people.
Those who do this get the reward they are seeking. They get to be seen as righteous by others. But that’s all they get. They do not get a relationship with God, which is far more valuable than the admiration of others.
2. Prayer Aligns Our Hearts with God’s Will
On the night before his crucifixion, we read in Luke 22:42 Jesus prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”
When we enter into a conversation with God about our circumstances, we are responding to what he is already doing. He is not surprised by what we are going through. He knows our needs before we do.
Our prayers are not just requests or demands. They are a response to God’s activity in the midst of our circumstances.
When we pray in this conversational way, prayer shapes us more than it changes God’s mind about our circumstances—it helps us see things from His perspective.
Psalm 13 as an example.
3. Prayer is God’s Appointed Means of Power and Provision
James 4:2 says, “You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.”
When we want something that we do not have, the very first thing to do is ask whether it is something worth wanting. If we think it is, our most common first step is to either go out and get it, or devise a plan to do so.
But, God’s desire is for us to first ask him. In the first book of the Chronicles of Narnia series, there is a conversation between two children and a talking horse in Narnia.
The children are hungry and are wondering why Aslan hasn’t arranged food for them. The horse says to the children that they could have asked Aslan for food.
The boy said, “Wouldn’t he know what we need without us asking?” To which the horse responded, “I’ve no doubt he would. But I’ve a sort of idea he likes to be asked.”
C.S. Lewis wrote the character of Aslan with Christ in mind. In this conversation, he is building off the ideas in Scripture about why we pray.
It is not so much about us informing God of our needs. It’s about being in the sort of relationship with God in which we talk to him about our circumstances and felt needs.
In Matthew 7:7–11, Jesus said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
Now, keep in mind what Jesus said in his instruction on how to pray in Matthew 6. He said not to go on babbling, hoping that with many words, God will hear you.
Yet, here in Matthew 7 and in other places, Jesus seems to say we should continually ask God for what we need.
Jesus is not prohibiting repetition in prayer. Rather, we shouldn’t pray without thinking as though the words have some sort of magical power to wake God and listen to our requests. What Jesus forbids is any kind of prayer with the mouth when the mind is not engaged.1
This might be a reason that some people do not like using liturgical, or pre-written prayers because they are someone else’s words. But, that would be like saying you shouldn’t sing unless it is your original words.
4. Prayer Brings Peace and Transforms Our Anxiety
Philippians 4:4–7 says, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
And 1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
As someone who struggles with anxiety, I can have the habit of carrying around burdens that weigh me down. Jesus wants to exchange those burdens for peace. This is done through prayer.
If this is something you also struggle with, I recommend checking out a free prayer app called One Minute Pause. It is particularly helpful in guiding you through releasing anxiety to God in prayer.
In summary of why we pray, John Calvin says this:
Believers do not pray with the view of informing God about things unknown to him, or of exciting him to do his duty, or of urging him as though he were reluctant. On the contrary, they pray in order that they may arouse themselves to seek him, that they may exercise their faith in meditating on his promises, that they may relieve themselves from their anxieties by pouring them out to him; in a word, that they may declare that from him alone they hope and expect, both for themselves and for others, all good things.
God himself, on the other hand, has purposed freely, and without being asked, to bestow blessings upon us; but he promises that he will grant them to our prayers. We must, therefore, maintain both of these truths, that He freely anticipates our wishes, and yet that we obtain by prayer what we ask.2
How Should I Pray?
Many people feel they’re “bad at praying.” Even Jesus’ disciples wanted to know how to pray, so he gave us a model in The Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13). This is not the only way to pray, but it is an excellent model. Once you know it well and understand its meaning, you can say the same things in different ways.
Many of us already have it memorized, but if you don’t, it would be beneficial to memorize it. Then, start modeling your prayers around the five movements in the prayer.
Let’s look at these five movements.
1. Approach God as Father
Start with reminding yourself of who God is. Only then will we approach God with the appropriate humility, devotion, and confidence.
To say God is our father is to say he is our caring provider, protector, and caregiver. He is infinitely good and generous. He is not only willing to fill the role of our father, but he will do it better than any earthly father ever could.
To say he is holy is to remind yourself that he is unlike any other person to whom you could make a request. His character is the gold standard of goodness, so we can trust him to make wise decisions.
2. Align Yourself with His Will
Before asking for things, surrender to His plans. His kingdom is the only eternal kingdom. It existed before any earthly kingdoms and will outlast them all.
It is a kingdom where love and peace rule. There is no injustice or evil in his kingdom. Asking for God’s kingdom to come means you are willing to be a vessel for the arrival of his kingdom. This includes pledging your allegiance only to God’s ways.
To pray that his kingdom may come is pray that it will grow in size as the church bears witness to what Jesus taught and how he lived. Our desire is for more people to be included in this kingdom now and for eternity because that is God’s desire.
To pray for God’s will to be done is to remind yourself that his will is perfect. If God’s will is done in our lives, it means that others will be blessed by our very presence. Wherever we go and whatever we do will be transformed by the perfect will of God.
Often, we are quite unaware of how God is transforming us. Others might notice that you are behaving differently before you have noticed it in yourself.
When we pray, God brings the transformation. We learn about who he is by studying his word, but the real change only comes when we ask God to change us.
3. Ask for Daily Needs
Prayer includes practical needs—God cares about daily concerns. Jesus uses the word ‘bread’ to symbolize everything we need for the preservation of life. Asking him to provide for our practical needs is an expression of humble dependence on his grace.
Nothing is too small to bring to God in prayer. Did you lose your keys? Ask God to help you find them. And then ask him for wisdom to figure out how to not lose them again. Does it mean God will miraculously make your keys appear? Probably not, but the prayer is more about your acknowledgment of dependence on God.
One thing I have hesitated to pray for in the past is when I have procrastinated on a task. It feels wrong to ask God to help me when I’ve messed up. God is more understanding and forgiving of our mistakes than we are of ourselves.
If you go to God when you’ve messed up, you will have done what is the very best thing you can possibly do to get yourself back on track. Ask God to help you in your time of need, even when your need is a result of your failure.
This prayer for daily needs keeps us dependent on God instead of being self-sufficient. It also keeps our desires in check because we know that asking God for things that would cause us to sin would not be right.
4. Seek Forgiveness and Offer It
Depending on your version of the Bible, the word for debt may be the word sin because that’s really what the word implies. But, the actual word is debt and literally means something owed to another person. In this case, it is a moral debt as the result of doing wrong against someone else, not a financial debt.
Sin against God is a moral debt that we cannot possibly repay. We have done so much that is offensive to God, there is no way we can make up for it.
So, the two options are that we will die while still in debt to God, making our death a permanent consequence of our sin. Or, God forgives us so that our death is not permanent and our relationship with him can be restored.
And, because of Jesus, forgiveness is an option.
This part of the prayer has caused much debate and confusion. The question often asked is, if we don’t forgive others, does that mean God will not forgive us?
The important thing to know is that nothing we do can earn or make us worthy of God’s forgiveness. Which means, this cannot possibly mean that God’s forgiveness of us depends on our forgiveness of others.
Rather, forgiveness of others is the evidence that our sins are forgiven. Consider the parable of the unmerciful servant:
“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Matthew 18:23–35, NIV
John Stott says,
Once our eyes have been opened to see the enormity of our offence against God, the injuries which others have done to us appear by comparison extremely trifling. If, on the other hand, we have an exaggerated view of the offences of others, it proves that we have minimized our own. It is the disparity between the size of debts which is the main point of the parable of the unmerciful servant.3
5. Seek Strength Against Temptation
The requests for God to lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one are the negative and positive sides of the same prayer.
In view of this prayer is the the real influence that Satan has on us. At various points in our life, we will face trials. These trials are not necessarily attacks of the evil one.
Keep in mind James 1:2 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds.”
If you lose your job, get sick, break a bone, hit a deer, or go through any number of trying experience, it does not mean that Satan is tempting you.
But, Satan will attempt to turn our trials into temptations to evil. So, the prayer could be said this way: “In whatever trials I face today, may I be kept free from the temptations of the evil one.” Or, to put it shorter, “May I not sin in times of trials.”
Amen: That’s the Truth!
At the end of our prayers, we usually say, ‘amen.’ Sometimes when you emphatically agree with something in conversation, you might say, ‘amen.’
Amen simply means, “true, firm, solid, or certain.” It is a single-word statement of confident agreement with something. It’s like saying, “Yes, that’s the truth!”
In 2 Corinthians 1:20 Paul wrote, “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the ‘Amen’ is spoken by us to the glory of God.”
When we close our prayer by saying, “In Jesus’s name. Amen,” we are declaring this truth, that everything God promises to us is fulfilled in Jesus.
Conclusion: Connecting Prayer to Communion
In Matthew 26:26-28, we read:
While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.” Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.”
Communion is a reminder that God has already answered our greatest need: reconciliation with Him through Christ.
Because of Christ’s sacrifice, we can pray with confidence, knowing we are fully accepted, as is written in Hebrews 4:16 “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
The Lord’s Prayer and the Lord’s Supper both teach us to come to God with dependence:
“Give us today our daily bread” is connected to Jesus’ statement that he is the bread of life.
“Forgive us our debts” → Communion reminds us that we are forgiven through Christ’s blood.
“Lead us not into temptation” → In Communion, we renew our commitment to walk in holiness through Christ’s strength.
Before we take the bread and cup, Paul instructs us to examine ourselves (1 Corinthians 11:28).
So, in the next few minutes, I will ask three questions to which you can respond to God in prayer. This is a simple model of prayer that you can use anytime. It includes confession, thanksgiving, and commitment. You can pray silently or you can write down your responses.
After a few minutes, I will invite you to come and take the elements back to your seat. Once everyone has the elements, we will eat and drink together.
Prayer
Confession: How have I sinned against God and others?
Thanksgiving: How can I express my gratitude to God for his love and provision?
Commitment: In what ways is God calling me to deeper fellowship with Him?