Note: the following is the manuscript for the message and will not match exactly the recorded message above.
Colossians 3:18-4:1 – Church at Home and Work
In October and November, we started going through Colossians. I worked through chapters 1 and 2, and halfway through chapter 3. The focus was on the identity, purpose, and life of the church.
What does a mature, holy, flourishing church look like? How do we function in a way together that effectively demonstrates the character and purposes of God?
Today, I want to continue this series by looking at Colossians 3:18-4:1, and then next week we will finish the book of Colossians, followed by two weeks covering the book of Philemon, which is a complimentary book to this one.
The subject of these next four weeks is on the more private matters of our faith. How we behave at work and at home. How we treat our family members and those with whom we work.
If you were here, and can recall anything from my very first sermon on Colossians, what do you remember?
Cuckoos in Our Nest – there was an imposter among the Colossians – Gnosticism, which taught that the spiritual and physical are separate. The spiritual is good and the physical is bad. The spiritual is eternal and the physical is temporary. Jesus only appeared to be human, but was not truly human.
This was a lie which infiltrated the church 2000 years ago and it is still alive and well today. It is the lie that the physical doesn’t really matter, or is less important than the spiritual.
There are other cuckoos that creep into our nest, which can impact our relationships. For example, the idea that what Paul wrote in this section of Colossians gives men different rights than women.
Think about the context. At the time of writing this letter, women, children and slaves had virtually no rights or even identity apart from men.
Paul’s instruction to Christian households was radical because it told the man of the house how to properly treat what was considered his property to do with what he wanted.
Paul was moving the church toward equality. Men and women, adults and children, slaves and masters. Equally valuable.
We might look back at it and interpret it as restrictive, ensuring women submit to their husbands and children obey their parents. It’s not about that. It’s about a mutually beneficial and loving relationship. This was not limiting instruction, but counter-cultural liberating instruction.
Let’s look at this passage and then I want to address the two main areas of our lives that Paul is writing about: our homes and our workplaces.
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism. Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.
Colossians 3:18–4:1 (NIV)
3:18-21 – Church at Home
There are two relationships highlighted here. The relationship between and husband and wife and the relationship between parents and children.
The instructions are short and seemingly simple, which means we must be really careful about how we interpret them. It is too easy to pull these verses out whenever we feel like someone else is not behaving properly.
In Ephesians 5, Paul gives similar instructions, but with a bit more detail.
The message is that the Christian home is to be a place in which the character of God is demonstrated. God loves us, so we love one another through submission and respect. God forgives us, so we forgive one another without reserve.
I want to get a question out of the way, which is the question of the wife’s submission to her husband. This is a really difficult idea for many of us because of how it has been abused.
The critical distinction that needs to be made is this: submission and obedience are not the same thing. Wives are called to submit, but you’ll notice the instruction is different for the children; they are called to obey.
The matter at hand here is that of humility and mutuality. The husband and wife are to have a posture of humility toward one another. The understanding of Paul, which is consistent throughout Scripture, is that the husband has the primary responsibility for the well-being of his family, to set the tone and direction of the household.
This is done through love for his wife and tender discipline of his children. Not by demanding respect or submission. The response from the wife is submission and respect. Not because the husband deserves it, but because this posture demonstrates a desire to honour her husband’s responsibility. Does this mean the husband does not need to submit to his wife or that the wife does not need to tenderly love her husband? Of course not.
Paul is providing corrective and clarifying instruction because of a pattern of behaviour that happens when people experience a newfound freedom that comes with following Jesus.
You see, our identity as Christians is primarily tied to Jesus and his promises to us. Our family identity is second to Christ. But, Paul does not want us to be dismissive of our families. On the contrary, the way our faith is express is through benefitting those closest to us whenever possible.
Wives, just because you have freedom in Christ, this does not give you permission to defy your husband. Husbands, just because you have freedom in Christ, this does not give you permission to be harsh with your wife or children.
Children, just because you have freedom in Christ, this does not give you permission to disobey or dishonour your parents. And parents, live out the gospel to the child. Demonstrate to them that they are loved and accepted and valued for who they are, not for who they ought to be, should have been, or might become.
It may be hard for you to understand why some people would jump to the conclusion that freedom in Christ could lead to defiance, harshness, or disobedience.
If you have a sense of calling from God to do something, and your spouse is not on board with what you are hearing from God, how do you treat them? You may be tempted to put the call above your family members. This is where love and submission comes in.
If you as a wife want to participate in church activity or some sort of ministry and your husband is not supportive, what does submission look like? If you as a husband feel called to ministry at the expense of the well-being of your family, what does love look like?
I’m not saying you ignore the call of God to participate in ministry. But, be patient and gracious with a family member who is not hearing the call. Placing demands on them or disrespecting them is not the way of Jesus.
This can be particularly challenging if you believe your child is called to do or be something. What sort of pressure are they feeling from you? How is their view of themselves changed because of your expectations of them?
When you are a part of a family, your calling is not individual. Defying your spouse and going off on your own, or risking the well-being of your family in order to follow a sense of calling is not an option.
The highest calling is to love one another. We cannot be a church that demonstrates God’s love and character to the world if we are not loving those closest to us.
I cannot claim to have done this perfectly in my life. I am grateful for a wife who has always been supportive of how God has been calling me and us as a family.
But, I have not always considered how this has impacted her and our children. So, when I was considering going back into pastoral work, I told Lynn that the only way it was going to happen is if she and the kids want to do it. It wasn’t enough for them only to support me.
This is about caring for the most common things in our lives, the most familiar. Not some extravagant work for God, but the most ordinary work of loving each other and sacrificing so that those closest to us benefit from you being a part of their lives.
Are any of you familiar with Dorothy Sayers? She was a novelist in the first half of the 1900s. She also wrote on Christian themes later in life, including an essay titled Why Work?.
The sentiment in this essay is helpful not only for the workplace but also for the home. It is truly about how we engage with the common things of life. Here is a short section of the essay.
The church’s approach to an intelligent carpenter is usually confined to exhorting him not to be drunk and disorderly in his leisure hours, and to come to church on Sundays. What the Church should be telling him is this: that the very first demand that his religion makes upon him is that he should make good tables. Church by all means, and decent forms of amusement, certainly—but what use is all that if in the very center of his life and occupation he is insulting God with bad carpentry? No crooked table legs or ill-fitting drawers ever, I dare say, came out of the carpenter’s shop at Nazareth. Nor, if they did, could anyone believe that they were made by the same hand that made heaven and earth.
Dorothy Sayers, “Why Work?”
The very first demand is that he should make good tables. I would add, that the very first demand of the Christian is that we should tend carefully and lovingly to the common and familiar things and people in our lives.
This brings us to the next section of this passage, which addresses how our faith transforms our work.
3:22-4:1 – Church at Work
This section of the letter is addressed to slaves and masters. To be fair and honest with this passage, we must acknowledge that some of it has no direct application outside the relationship between a slave and a master.
Some of it is more of a window into the first century context, seeing how a new standard for relationships within the church was being shaped.
I’ll address this topic a bit more in a couple weeks when we look at the book of Philemon. But, I have often wondered how Paul’s language would change if written to us today in an society that is much different. I wonder if his instruction would be similar.
He instructs Christian slaves to do their work with all their hearts, as though they are doing it for God himself. Don’t merely do the minimum required in order to avoid rebuke, with a show of effort when being observed.
The primary concern here is a Christian response to life’s situations. If your circumstances can’t be changed, you are called to respond with a sense of responsibility to God who has chosen not to alter your circumstances.
God is concerned about how we use our energy, time, and life. This passage teaches that work is honourable even if the work is not honoured by others, or if the work produces little profit.
We work in response to the Lord’s goodness toward us, trusting him to take care of all our needs, especially when we are finding it difficult to provide for ourselves.
This passage also teaches the equality and dignity of all people. Masters had a master, and slaves had a freedom when they realized that their work was not confined to this life and the generosity of earthly masters.
Ultimately, we are judged by our personal response to God in each situation, great or small.
Regardless of who we work for, how much we get paid, or how much our work is appreciated by others, we work with diligence, carefully attending to what God has entrusted to us.
This topic is much larger than what I can cover in a short section of a sermon. The matter of work is a significant part of my graduate studies at Regent, and is something I care deeply about.
If you’re interested in exploring it further, let me know. I’m hoping to do a some focused studies on this and similar topics in the coming months.
I want to close with a quote from N.T. Wright, in his commentary on Colossians, writes this: “In whatever role a Christian finds himself or herself, at home or at work, life can and must be lived ‘for the Lord’, and in harmony with one’s fellow human beings. The rules which facilitate this state create true freedom.”